1st .....21....Freetype....

I'm 21 ...For some reason there is an ackward silence in that .I'm yet to figure out why ,it's been a hectic two weeks though alot has happened in my life despite the mental furious growth my body remains unchanged.Not that i'm complaining wish my mental state was  more harmonious and constant as my physical body.I met some one recently he is great but for some reason there is something holding "me"+ "him"from being an "US"...But do i want that ? I seem to think so ,see when he smiles my heart smiles,it starts beating at a pace i never knew it could,does cart wheels i never knew it could.We have alot conversations with him most which all carry a subtext of how "we"could be .His young though and has way more to loose than i do. See i wish the world would understand that we both did not ask to be in this emotional wrap we in now but i know when he is there all seems to exist but me + him .But again he has way more to loose.Hate that as i know we could really be happy if really we had the chance to ,but i think i care about him too much to see him go through the thorns of this world when you dare choose to be different let alone sexually defiant to the heterosexual norm.I don't wanna confuse him but rather let him come to his own understanding and conclusion,i really hope im there at the end of the his discovery tunnel as a light he works towards as i truly belive he is a good man that will just get better in time.Enough about him my heart already has enough to deal with .My freinds list seems to shrink by the day ,would swear someone pulled an exorscism in my life .Guess it rids of the unhealthy fatty part that is just as scrumptious then the protein enriched meat.They all seem to be dropping out.But i seem to be gaining alot of life companions that i dont mind seeing for a very long time.I seem to be getting moree impatient with the carreer thing as feel like im ready to receive what the lord has promised me.As everyday spent not doing what i love and purposed to do i feel my talent and ambition raping me inside to a pont of soul splintered heartbreak.