The First Fumbles....well u call em First years!

We all at one point in time were fumbling random looking “riff raff’s” who looked nothing short like Elana Africa being dropped off in Soweto or better yet asking the ungamula wase Mhlanga directions to “k-mash “...yes I’m talking about our dear first years or better yet our first semesters .I could truthfully say that the first day of first semester  was one where all my insecurities and flaws  even those I had held a very pleasing memorial service and funeral ,thanks to uncountable hours that could easily be added to kgalema Motlanthle’s presidency duration. Watching Oprah and Tyra banks telling me that they are actually my defining attributes or worse that the amount of cellulite in my body is just a figment of my imagination which could  explain Oprah’s current physical state, came rushing back to me .Varsity to me had  been one of those dreamy discussions that me and my army of girl pals had always discussed during lunch break where the topic of “hot college boys” came into play. where in my long forgotten era Howard college was always leading the pack which explains my purposeless existence at H.C  but what struck me the most was how nobody out of my army had ever got to thinking about the large volumes of work that came with the pleasure of uttering the words, that yes I am indeed a tertiary student ....As with the work came other challenges that our conversations had never reached.

 No one told any of us that upon our arrival our old life was to be left behind and that not all of us were to be accepted into the same institution. Where our secret harsh hush loyalties were to fall into deaf ears that heard nothing but acceptable a.p.s  points and enough distinctions that even the loudest of tears wrapped in a 95% pass for Life Orientation would not be heard. It was at this that I found myself talking to people I vowed never to utter a word to in high school from the “ashy girl “ to the boy who never said a word due to a bad case of gingivitis,  yes came first semester and these became my new so called friends ...and yet with this mentioned during our dreamy days of our upcoming year  no one thought to mention this. It is here that you realise the true testament of bunking disguised in the shade of the “it” spot to be, from the cafeteria to the coffee shop it is here that I discovered the art of conversation where time became nothing but a seeming less word that imposed very harsh repercussions that I was soon to discover. The politics of the chick wearing the tin tin  leggings  over a trench coat looking oh so boutique were to catch my eye ,it was here that I discovered my vicious mouth that now told words about cotton that dressed a student that I knew nothing about!, was to be the feather that tickled to the amusement of many of the “cafe chickens “and “cafe kings and queens “whom I was to later discover shared a seat when the merger was still in foresight or better yet have changed degrees so many times that they now know they way around the system they say .

”Discover” being the absolute word in this as it was during this little magical era titled first semester that i discovered the place called university.

So dear avid reader knowing what I know now what is it that I can tell you about or should I say warn you about ...I’d start by telling you to not let those six distinctions get in your head as they are Far from an indication of how well you will do in this crude place nor are they true testament of your intelligence. As this is a place of born intellectuals where almost every third person you meet has a unique story to tell  or a brain size that measure pretty well to your psych  lecturer .Id warn you not too loose your natural radiant complexion or worse get three tones darker chilling at  notorious chill spots such as “T.b davis”or the numerous ”cafes” that be at our humble institutions that be ....as the time spent here is immense time that could have been put to better use nor are the tedious or frivolous conversations are worth your hard earned milky complexion or lightness , as we all know how we scrub or tone and wash two times a day to  achieve that lightness ....I would tell you  not to get caught up in your own little varsity craze or hype and that the killer wardrobe or beauty or swagger you think you are rolling in is an inch compared to the real ballers and rollers...something as simple as patience will save you from deadly routes offered in “sugary “ cheques and swipes from your new sponsor who shall swipe his way into your legs once the transaction has been cleared .A transaction of you chasing a life that at this point in time is not granted to for a reason .I would try and teach you the investment system where you spot that geeky tribal looking twerp from engineering who would put Zuma’s communication levels to British standards as the future as they who we never take heed of are the next “rollers” and who shall be able to clothe you in all our favourite men including “Marc Jacobs” to the likes of “Dior’s”   .

If all has been done and experienced in first semester I will wish you a happy second semester filled with a lot of attending and actually doing what your here to do as if there is one thing I learnt is that second semester is where redemption is served in “MR PRICE” skinny jeans ....now who are you to deny yourself a pair now go on young blood and clean up your slate this semester! Love Ibanathi Ngcobo

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